Dear People Wearing Strange Sunglasses: Stop It!!!

I have had it with people’s choices of eye-ware recently.

Not to be too Andy Rooneyish about it, but it’s really starting to get to me.
There are two types of these sun shading monstrosities that really bother me.

The “Jackie O” sunglasses. 
What you think they say about you:  ”I’m rich and sophisticated”. 
What they really say: “Hey look, I can get Direct TV on these”
The only times they are appropriate:

• Having a highball before lunch
• Your time machine left you in the 60’s
• You are shopping at Tiffany’s with Hannibal from the A-Team.
  

Any bright white sunglasses
What you think they say about you:  ”I’m cool and hip, everyone look at me”
What they really say:  ”I have a large pice of expensive plastic on my head that can be seen from orbit”.
The only time they are appropriate:

• Winter warfare
• Signaling a ship to be rescued from a deserted island
• Getting married on the sun

What it really comes down to is choice.  You should choose not to wear these abominations so I can sit down and enjoy my latte without having to be distracted by every Holly Go Lightly imitator in the tri-state area.
I run-on because I care.
Now go back to work.